Daily Fortunes

Sep 24, 2014

The verdict of a jury is the a priori opinion of that juror...
The verdict of a jury is the a priori opinion of that juror who smokes the worst cigars. -- H. L. Mencken

The voluptuous blond was chatting with her handsome escort in...
The voluptuous blond was chatting with her handsome escort in a posh restaurant when their waiter, stumbling as he brought their drinks, dumped a martini on the rocks down the back of the blonde's dress. She sprang to her feet with a wild rebel yell, dashed wildly around...

The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we...
The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey. By diligent effort, I learned to like it. -- Winston Churchill

"The whole world is about three drinks behind." ...
"The whole world is about three drinks behind." -- Humphrey Bogart

The wise and intelligent are coming belatedly to realize that...
The wise and intelligent are coming belatedly to realize that alcohol, and not the dog, is man's best friend. Rover is taking a beating -- and he should. -- W.C. Fields

Daily Fortunes for Sep 24, 2014

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