Daily Fortunes

Jun 5, 2019

From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I...
From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. -- Groucho Marx, from "The Book of Insults"

God is a comic playing to an audience that's afraid to laugh.
God is a comic playing to an audience that's afraid to laugh.

He asked me if I knew what time it was -- I said yes, but...
He asked me if I knew what time it was -- I said yes, but not right now. -- Steven Wright

"Here's something to think about: How come you never...
"Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like `Psychic Wins Lottery'?" -- Jay Leno

Hey, what do you expect from a culture that *drives*...
Hey, what do you expect from a culture that *drives* on *parkways* and *parks* on *driveways*? -- Gallagher

Daily Fortunes for Jun 5, 2019

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