Daily Fortunes

Jul 5, 2019

Q: How many college football players does it take to screw...
Q: How many college football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Only one, but he gets three credits for it.

Q: How many DEC repairman does it take to fix a flat? A: ...
Q: How many DEC repairman does it take to fix a flat? A: Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires. Q: How long does it take? A: It's indeterminate. It will depend upon how many flats they've brought with them. Q: What happens...

Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug? A: ...
Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug? A: Four. Two in the front, two in the back. Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator? A: There's a footprint in the mayo. Q: How can you tell if two elephants are in your...

Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in...
Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching...

Q: How many gradual (sorry, that's supposed to...
Q: How many gradual (sorry, that's supposed to be "graduate") students does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: "I'm afraid we don't know, but make my stipend tax-free, give my advisor a $30,000 grant of the taxpayer's money, and I'm...

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