Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday January 25, 2006

A little kid went up to Santa and asked him, "Santa,...
A little kid went up to Santa and asked him, "Santa, you know when I'm bad right?" And Santa says, "Yes, I do." The little kid then asks, "And you know when I'm sleeping?" To which Santa replies, "Every minute."...

Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life.
Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life.

"Imitation is the sincerest form of television." --...
"Imitation is the sincerest form of television." -- The New Mighty Mouse

As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is...
As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time...

You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your...
You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity.

You could live a better life, if you had a better mind and...
You could live a better life, if you had a better mind and a better body.

A fellow bought a new car, a Nissan, and was quite happy with...
A fellow bought a new car, a Nissan, and was quite happy with his purchase. He was something of an animist, however, and felt that the car really ought to have a name. This presented a problem, as he was not sure if the name should be masculine...