Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday April 20, 2012

Stress has been pinpointed as a major cause of illness...
Stress has been pinpointed as a major cause of illness. To avoid overload and burnout, keep stress out of your life. Give it to others instead. Learn the "Gaslight" treatment, the "Are you talking to me?" technique,...

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Next Thursday (which is good Friday), There will be a convention held in the Women's...

Ernest asks Frank how long he has been working for...
Ernest asks Frank how long he has been working for the company. "Ever since they threatened to fire me."

Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must...
Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn't matter whether...

If you had better tools, you could more effectively demonstrate...
If you had better tools, you could more effectively demonstrate your total incompetence.