Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday January 19, 2017

A cocksucking steno named Beeman Remarked as she swallowed...
A cocksucking steno named Beeman Remarked as she swallowed my semen : "On my minuscule salary I must watch every calorie, So I get `ahead' eating you he-men!"

A couple was fishing near Clombe When the maid began looking...
A couple was fishing near Clombe When the maid began looking quite glum, And said, "Bother the fish! I'd rather coish!" Which they did -- which was why they had come.

In a display of perverse brilliance, Carl the repairman...
In a display of perverse brilliance, Carl the repairman mistakes a room humidifier for a mid-range computer but manages to tie it into the network anyway. -- The 5th Wave