Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday January 26, 2017

"Give me enough medals, and I'll win any war." ...
"Give me enough medals, and I'll win any war." -- Napolean

George Orwell was an optimist.
George Orwell was an optimist.

Ginsberg's Theorem: (1) You can't win. (2)...
Ginsberg's Theorem: (1) You can't win. (2) You can't break even. (3) You can't even quit the game. Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's theorem: Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem meaningful...

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There was a young monk from Tibet And this is the damnedest...
There was a young monk from Tibet And this is the damnedest one yet His cock was so long And incredibly strong That he buggered six Greeks en brochette.

There was a young monk of Dundee Who complained that it hurt...
There was a young monk of Dundee Who complained that it hurt him to pee, He said, "Pax vobiscum, Now why won't the piss come? I'm afraid I've the c-l-a-p."

A person who is more than casually interested in computers...
A person who is more than casually interested in computers should be well schooled in machine language, since it is a fundamental part of a computer. -- Donald Knuth

Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.
Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.

Yes, we will be going to OSI, Mars, and Pluto, but...
Yes, we will be going to OSI, Mars, and Pluto, but not necessarily in that order. -- Jeffrey Honig

You are an insult to my intelligence! I demand that you...
You are an insult to my intelligence! I demand that you log off immediately.

Stay away from hurricanes for a while.
Stay away from hurricanes for a while.

We are the people our parents warned us about.
We are the people our parents warned us about.

What's done to children, they will do to society.
What's done to children, they will do to society.