Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday January 28, 2017

Osborn's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't.
Osborn's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't.

A certain young sheik of Algiers Said to his harem, "My...
A certain young sheik of Algiers Said to his harem, "My dears, Though you may think it odd of me, I'm tired of just sodomy Let's try straight fucking." (loud cheers!)

A charmer from old Amarillo, Sick of finding strange heads...
A charmer from old Amarillo, Sick of finding strange heads on her pillow, Decided one day That to keep men away She would stuff up her crevice with Brillo.

A lady while dining at Crewe Found an elephant's whang in...
A lady while dining at Crewe Found an elephant's whang in her stew. Said the waiter, "Don't shout, And don't wave it about, Or the others will all want one too."

A wanton young lady from Wimley Reproached for not acting quite...
A wanton young lady from Wimley Reproached for not acting quite primly Said, "Heavens above! I know sex isn't love, But it's such an entrancing facsimile."

A young violinist from Rio Was seducing a woman named Cleo...
A young violinist from Rio Was seducing a woman named Cleo. As she took down her panties She said, "No andantes; I want this allegro con brio!"

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!