Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday April 30, 2019

Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by...
Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction -- from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.

[Sir Stafford Cripps] has all the virtues I dislike and none...
[Sir Stafford Cripps] has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. -- Winston Churchill

A timid young woman named Jane Found parties a terrible...
A timid young woman named Jane Found parties a terrible strain; With movements uncertain She'd hide in a curtain And make sounds like a rabbit in pain. -- Edward Gorey

A weary old lecher named Blott Took a luscious young blond...
A weary old lecher named Blott Took a luscious young blond to his yacht. Too lazy to rape her, He made darts out of paper, Which he leisurely tossed at her twat.

A wicked stone cutter named Cary Drilled holes in divine...
A wicked stone cutter named Cary Drilled holes in divine statuary. With eyes full of malice He pulled out his phallus, And buggered a stone Virgin Mary.

There was a young lady who said, As her bridegroom got into...
There was a young lady who said, As her bridegroom got into the bed, "I'm tired of this stunt, That they do with one's cunt, You can get up my bottom instead."

There was a young woman called Pearl Who quite resembled...
There was a young woman called Pearl Who quite resembled a churl; When she asked a young man named Tex Whether he would like to have sex, "Certainly," quoth he, "Who's the girl?"