Freebsd Murphys Law

For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision.

The inside contact that you have developed at great
expense is the first person to be let go in any
reorganization.

It's tough to get reallocated when you're the one
who's redundant.

Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

If you're early, it'll be cancelled.
If you knock yourself out to be on time, you will
   have to wait.
If you're late, you will be too late.

A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept
and the hours are lost.

If you leave the room, you're elected.

The cream rises to the top.
So does the scum.

You can never do just one thing.

There's no time like the present for postponing
what you don't want to do.