Freebsd Murphys Law

If you're early, it'll be cancelled.
If you knock yourself out to be on time, you will
   have to wait.
If you're late, you will be too late.

A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept
and the hours are lost.

If you leave the room, you're elected.

The cream rises to the top.
So does the scum.

You can never do just one thing.

There's no time like the present for postponing
what you don't want to do.

Any task worth doing was worth doing yesterday.

The more complicated and grandiose the plan, the
greater the chance of failure.

Simple jobs always get put off because there will be
time to do them later.

Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.