Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Wednesday December 12, 2007

As you know, birds do not have sexual organs because they...
As you know, birds do not have sexual organs because they would interfere with flight. [In fact, this was the big breakthrough for the Wright Brothers. They were watching birds one day, trying to figure out how to get their crude machine to fly, when...

Anything is good and useful if it's made of chocolate.
Anything is good and useful if it's made of chocolate.

I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as...
I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Indeed, unless the billboards fall I'll never see a tree at all. -- Ogden Nash

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment,...
"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment." -- Gotama Buddha

God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains...
God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions. -- De Caussade

God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows...
God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through. -- Paul Valery

Happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness...
Happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness and confusion.

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods...
Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods. -- Socrates

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. --...
Illusion is the first of all pleasures. -- Voltaire

In order to discover who you are, first learn who everybody...
In order to discover who you are, first learn who everybody else is; you're what's left.

Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little...
Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better. -- Edgar W. Howe

It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations.
It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations.

It is Fortune, not Wisdom, that rules man's life.
It is Fortune, not Wisdom, that rules man's life.

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle...
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased. -- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"

It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.
It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.

Joshu: What is the true Way? Nansen: Every way is the true...
Joshu: What is the true Way? Nansen: Every way is the true Way. J: Can I study it? N: The more you study, the further from the Way. J: If I don't study it, how can I know it? N: The Way does not belong to things seen: nor to things...

Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all...
Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all. -- Thomas J. Kopp

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but...
My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed. -- Christopher Morley

Nasrudin walked into a shop one day, and the owner came forward...
Nasrudin walked into a shop one day, and the owner came forward to serve him. Nasrudin said, "First things first. Did you see me walk into your shop?" "Of course." "Have you ever seen me before?" ...

Nasrudin walked into a teahouse and declaimed, "The moon...
Nasrudin walked into a teahouse and declaimed, "The moon is more useful than the sun." "Why?", he was asked. "Because at night we need the light more."

Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of...
Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each...