Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Tuesday July 10, 2018

There once was a man from Calcutta Who used to beat off in...
There once was a man from Calcutta Who used to beat off in the gutta The heat of the sun Affected his gun And turned all his cream into butta!

There once was a man from Dunoon, Who always ate soup with...
There once was a man from Dunoon, Who always ate soup with a fork. He said "When I eat Either fish, foul or flesh, I otherwise finish too quick."

There once was a young man from Yuma, Who told an elephant joke...
There once was a young man from Yuma, Who told an elephant joke to a puma. Now his dry bleached bones lie, Under hot Asian skies, 'Cause the puma had no sense of huma.

There once was a young man named Gene, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a young man named Gene, Who invented a screwing machine. Concave and convex, It served either sex, And it played with itself inbetween.

There once was an Arpanet freak, Who better response-time...
There once was an Arpanet freak, Who better response-time did seek. He searched coast to coast, For a reliable host, Whose logger took less than a week.

There once was an old man from Esser, Who's knowledge grew...
There once was an old man from Esser, Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser. It at last grew so small, He knew nothing at all, And now he's a College Professor.