Daily Fortunes

May 26, 2012

Lady Astor was giving a costume ball and Winston Churchill...
Lady Astor was giving a costume ball and Winston Churchill asked her what disguise she would recommend for him. She replied, "Why don't you come sober, Mr. Prime Minister?"

Let the worthy citizens of Chicago get their liquor the best...
Let the worthy citizens of Chicago get their liquor the best way they can. I'm sick of the job. It's a thankless one and full of grief. -- Al Capone

Life, like beer, is merely borrowed. --...
Life, like beer, is merely borrowed. -- Don Reed

Look at it this way: Your daughter just named the fresh turkey...
Look at it this way: Your daughter just named the fresh turkey you brought home "Cuddles", so you're going out to buy a canned ham. And you're still drinking ordinary scotch?

Look at it this way: Your wife's spending $280 a month...
Look at it this way: Your wife's spending $280 a month on meditation lessons to forget $26,000 of college education. And you're still drinking ordinary scotch?

Daily Fortunes for May 26, 2012

Jan

Feb

Mar

Apr

May

Jun

Jul

Aug

Sep

Oct

Nov