Daily Fortunes

May 21, 2015

Professor Gorden Newell threw another shutout in last week's...
Professor Gorden Newell threw another shutout in last week's Chem Eng. 130 midterm. Once again a student did not receive a single point on his exam. Newell has now tossed 5 shutouts this quarter. Newell's earned exam average has now dropped to a phenomenal 30%.

Reading is thinking with someone else's head instead of one's...
Reading is thinking with someone else's head instead of one's own.

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.
Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.

Reporter: "How did you like school when you were growing...
Reporter: "How did you like school when you were growing up, Yogi?" Yogi Berra: "Closed."

Rules for Good Grammar #4. (1) Don't use no double...
Rules for Good Grammar #4. (1) Don't use no double negatives. (2) Make each pronoun agree with their antecedents. (3) Join clauses good, like a conjunction should. (4) About them sentence fragments. (5) When dangling, watch your...

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