Daily FortunesJan 22, 2014
"I was drunk last night, crawled home across the lawn...
"I was drunk last night, crawled home across the lawn. By accident I
put the car key in the door lock. The house started up. So I figured
what the hell, and drove it around the block a few times. I thought I
should go park it in the middle of the freeway and yell...
I was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said,...
I was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said, "Do you live
around here often?" She said, "You're wearing two different-color socks."
I said, "Yes, but to me they're the same because I go by thickness."
She said, "How...
I was in Vegas last week. I was at the roulette table, having...
I was in Vegas last week. I was at the roulette table, having a lengthy
argument about what I considered an Odd number.
-- Steven Wright
I was the best I ever had.
-- Woody Allen
I was the best I ever had.
-- Woody Allen
"I went into a general store, and they wouldn't sell...
"I went into a general store, and they wouldn't sell me anything specific".
-- Steven Wright
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Daily Fortunes for Jan 22, 2014
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