Daily Fortunes

Aug 22, 2014

I used to have a drinking problem. Now I love the stuff.
I used to have a drinking problem. Now I love the stuff.

I will not drink! But if I do... I will not get drunk! But if...
I will not drink! But if I do... I will not get drunk! But if I do... I will not in public! But if I do... I will not fall down! But if I do... I will fall face down so that they cannot see my company badge.

I wish you were a Scotch on the rocks.
I wish you were a Scotch on the rocks.

I'd like to meet the guy who invented beer and see what he's...
I'd like to meet the guy who invented beer and see what he's working on now.

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal...
I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy. -- Fred Allen [Also attributed to S. Clay Wilson. Ed.]

Daily Fortunes for Aug 22, 2014

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