Daily Fortunes

Mar 28, 2014

Moe: Wanna play poker tonight? Joe: I can't. It's...
Moe: Wanna play poker tonight? Joe: I can't. It's the kids' night out. Moe: So? Joe: I gotta stay home with the nurse.

Moe: What did you give your wife for Valentine's Day? Joe: ...
Moe: What did you give your wife for Valentine's Day? Joe: The usual gift -- she ate my heart out.

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known...
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known of any two things we have. -- The Best of Will Rogers

Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost...
Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well. -- Lazarus Long

Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly...
Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses. -- H.H. Munro

Daily Fortunes for Mar 28, 2014

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