Daily Fortunes

Aug 16, 2014

Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray.
Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray.

Lady Astor was giving a costume ball and Winston Churchill...
Lady Astor was giving a costume ball and Winston Churchill asked her what disguise she would recommend for him. She replied, "Why don't you come sober, Mr. Prime Minister?"

Let the worthy citizens of Chicago get their liquor the best...
Let the worthy citizens of Chicago get their liquor the best way they can. I'm sick of the job. It's a thankless one and full of grief. -- Al Capone

Life, like beer, is merely borrowed. --...
Life, like beer, is merely borrowed. -- Don Reed

Look at it this way: Your daughter just named the fresh turkey...
Look at it this way: Your daughter just named the fresh turkey you brought home "Cuddles", so you're going out to buy a canned ham. And you're still drinking ordinary scotch?

Daily Fortunes for Aug 16, 2014

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