Daily Fortunes

Oct 27, 2018

"I was drunk last night, crawled home across the lawn...
"I was drunk last night, crawled home across the lawn. By accident I put the car key in the door lock. The house started up. So I figured what the hell, and drove it around the block a few times. I thought I should go park it in the middle of the freeway and yell...

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did...
"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know." -- Mark Twain

I was part of that strange race of people aptly described...
I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike. -- Emile Henry Gauvreay

"I was playing poker the other night ... with Tarot cards...
"I was playing poker the other night ... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright

"I went into a general store, and they wouldn't sell...
"I went into a general store, and they wouldn't sell me anything specific". -- Steven Wright

Daily Fortunes for Oct 27, 2018

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