Linux Definitions

Hurewitz's Memory Principle:
        The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional
        to... to... uh.....

IBM Pollyanna Principle:
        Machines should work.  People should think.

IBM's original motto:
        Cogito ergo vendo; vendo ergo sum.

IBM:
        [International Business Machines Corp.]  Also known as Itty Bitty
        Machines or The Lawyer's Friend.  The dominant force in computer
        marketing, having supplied worldwide some 75% of all known hardware
        and 10% of all software.  To protect itself from the litigious envy
        of less successful organizations, such as the US government, IBM
        employs 68% of all known ex-Attorneys' General.

IBM:
        I've Been Moved
        Idiots Become Managers
        Idiots Buy More
        Impossible to Buy Machine
        Incredibly Big Machine
        Industry's Biggest Mistake
        International Brotherhood of Mercenaries
        It Boggles the Mind
        It's Better Manually
        Itty-Bitty Machines

IBM:
        It may be slow, but it's hard to use.

idiot box, n.:
        The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the
        stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.
                -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

Idiot, n.:
        A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human
        affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

idleness, n.:
        Leisure gone to seed.

ignisecond, n:
        The overlapping moment of time when the hand is locking the car
        door even as the brain is saying, "my keys are in there!"
                -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"