Linux Definitions

Information Center, n.:
        A room staffed by professional computer people whose job it is to
        tell you why you cannot have the information you require.

Information Processing:
        What you call data processing when people are so disgusted with
        it they won't let it be discussed in their presence.

Ingrate, n.:
        A man who bites the hand that feeds him, and then complains of
        indigestion.

ink, n.:
        A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic,
        and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of
        idiocy and promote intellectual crime.
                -- H.L. Mencken

innovate, v.:
        To annoy people.

insecurity, n.:
        Finding out that you've mispronounced for years one of your
        favorite words.

        Realizing halfway through a joke that you're telling it to
        the person who told it to you.

interest, n.:
        What borrowers pay, lenders receive, stockholders own, and
        burned out employees must feign.

Interpreter, n.:
        One who enables two persons of different languages to
        understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to
        the interpreter's advantage for the other to have said.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

intoxicated, adj.:
        When you feel sophisticated without being able to pronounce it.

Iron Law of Distribution:
        Them that has, gets.