Linux Definitions

A musician, an artist, an architect:
        the man or woman who is not one of these is not a Christian.
                -- William Blake

A new koan:
        If you have some ice cream, I will give it to you.
        If you have no ice cream, I will take it away from you.
It is an ice cream koan.

Abbott's Admonitions:
        (1) If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know.
        (2) If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.
                -- Charles Abbot, dean, University of Virginia

Absent, adj.:
        Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered.

Absentee, n.:
        A person with an income who has had the forethought to remove
        himself from the sphere of exaction.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Abstainer, n.:
        A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a
        pleasure.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Absurdity, n.:
        A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Academy:
        A modern school where football is taught.
Institute:
        An archaic school where football is not taught.

Acceptance testing:
        An unsuccessful attempt to find bugs.

Accident, n.:
        A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of
        body is better.
                -- Foolish Dictionary