Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday October 31, 2018

At the moment Japan declared war A sailor was fucking a whore...
At the moment Japan declared war A sailor was fucking a whore. He said, "After this poke `Long and hard' ain't no joke; This means months 'til I get back ashore."

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a young lady named Clair Who possessed a magnificent...
There was a young lady named Clair Who possessed a magnificent pair; At least so I thought Till I saw one get caught On a thorn, and begin losing air.

There was a young lady named Rose Who fainted whenever...
There was a young lady named Rose Who fainted whenever she chose; She did so one day While playing croquet, But was quickly revived with a hose. -- Edward Gorey

There was a young plumber named Lee Who was plumbing his girl...
There was a young plumber named Lee Who was plumbing his girl by the sea. She said, "Stop your plumbing, There's somebody coming" Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."

Indifference is the only sure defense.
Indifference is the only sure defense.

The programmers of old were mysterious and profound. We cannot...
The programmers of old were mysterious and profound. We cannot fathom their thoughts, so all we do is describe their appearance. Aware, like a fox crossing the water. Alert, like a general on the battlefield. Kind, like a hostess greeting...