Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday September 26, 2018

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There once was a sad Maitre d'hotel Who said, "They...
There once was a sad Maitre d'hotel Who said, "They can all go to hell! What they do to my wife -- Why it ruins my life; And the worst is they all do it well."

There was a young fellow named Skinner Who took a young lady...
There was a young fellow named Skinner Who took a young lady to dinner At a quarter to nine, They sat down to dine, At twenty to ten it was in her. The dinner, not Skinner -- Skinner was in her before dinner. There was a young fellow...

"Good health" is merely the slowest rate at which...
"Good health" is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.

There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion...
There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards -- only physics and war hold him in check. And also the wife...