Freebsd Murphys Law

The client who pays the least complains the most

A lack of planning on your part
does not constitute an emergency on my part.

I know you believe you understand
   what you think I said,
      however, I am not sure you realize,
         that what I think you heard
            is not what I meant

Real programmers don't eat muffins.

In any bureaucracy, paperwork increases as you spend
more and more time reporting on the less and less you
are doing.  Stability is achieved when you spend all of
your time reporting on the nothing you are doing.

Consultants are mystical people who ask a company for
a number and then give it back to them.

When somebody drops something, everybody will kick it
around instead of picking it up.

The chances of anybody doing anything are inversely
proportional to the number of other people who are in
a position to do it instead.

Never make a decision you can get someone else to make.

No one keeps a record of decisions you could have made
but didn't.  Everyone keeps a records of your bad ones.