Freebsd Murphys Law

Real programmers are secure enough to write readable code,
which they then self-righteously refuse to explain.

Real programmers don't play video games, they write them.

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Real programmers understand Pascal.

Real programmers know it's not operations'
fault if their jobs go into "hogs".

Real programmers do not eat breakfast from the
vending machines.

Real programmers punch up their own programs.

When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

Real programmers have read the standards manual
but won't admit it.

Real programmers don't advertise their hangovers.