Freebsd Fortunes 7

What they said:
        What they meant:

"You will be fortunate if you can get him to work for you."
        (We certainly never succeeded.)
There is no other employee with whom I can adequately compare him.
        (Well, our rats aren't really employees...)
"Success will never spoil him."
        (Well, at least not MUCH more.)
"One usually comes away from him with a good feeling."
        (And such a sigh of relief.)
"His dissertation is the sort of work you don't expect to see these days;
in it he has definitely demonstrated his complete capabilities."
        (And his IQ, as well.)
"He should go far."
        (The farther the better.)
"He will take full advantage of his staff."
        (He even has one of them mowing his lawn after work.)

What they say:                          What they mean:

A major technological breakthrough...   Back to the drawing board.
Developed after years of research       Discovered by pure accident.
Project behind original schedule due    We're working on something else.
        to unforseen difficulties
Designs are within allowable limits     We made it, stretching a point or two.
Customer satisfaction is believed       So far behind schedule that they'll be
        assured                                 grateful for anything at all.
Close project coordination              We're gonna spread the blame, campers!
Test results were extremely gratifying  It works, and boy, were we surprised!
The design will be finalized...         We haven't started yet, but we've got
                                                to say something.
The entire concept has been rejected    The guy who designed it quit.
We're moving forward with a fresh       We hired three new guys, and they're
        approach                                kicking it around.
A number of different approaches...     We don't know where we're going, but
                                                we're moving.
Preliminary operational tests are       Blew up when we turned it on.
        inconclusive
Modifications are underway              We're starting over.

What they say:                  What they mean:

New                             Different colors from previous version.
All New                         Not compatible with previous version.
Exclusive                       Nobody else has documentation.
Unmatched                       Almost as good as the competition.
Design Simplicity               The company wouldn't give us any money.
Fool-proof Operation            All parameters are hard-coded.
Advanced Design                 Nobody really understands it.
Here At Last                    Didn't get it done on time.
Field Tested                    We don't have any simulators.
Years of Development            Finally got one to work.
Unprecedented Performance       Nothing ever ran this slow before.
Revolutionary                   Disk drives go 'round and 'round.
Futuristic                      Only runs on a next generation supercomputer.
No Maintenance                  Impossible to fix.
Performance Proven              Worked through Beta test.
Meets Tough Quality Standards   It compiles without errors.
Satisfaction Guaranteed         We'll send you another pack if it fails.
Stock Item                      We shipped it before and can do it again.

What this country needs is a dime that will buy a good five-cent bagel.

What this country needs is a good 5 dollar plasma weapon.

What this country needs is a good five cent ANYTHING!

What this country needs is a good five cent microcomputer.

What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.

What time is it?
I don't know, it keeps changing.

What upsets me is not that you lied to me,
but that from now on I can no longer believe you.
                -- Nietzsche