Linux Definitions

Cohn's Law:
        The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less
        time you have to do anything.  Stability is achieved when you spend
        all your time reporting on the nothing you are doing.

Cold, adj.:
        When the politicians walk around with their hands in their own pockets.

Cole's Law:
        Thinly sliced cabbage.

Collaboration, n.:
        A literary partnership based on the false assumption that the
        other fellow can spell.

College:
        The fountains of knowledge, where everyone goes to drink.

Colvard's Logical Premises:
        All probabilities are 50%.
        Either a thing will happen or it won't.

Colvard's Unconscionable Commentary:
        This is especially true when dealing with someone you're attracted to.

Grelb's Commentary:
        Likelihoods, however, are 90% against you.

Command, n.:
        Statement presented by a human and accepted by a computer in
        such a manner as to make the human feel as if he is in control.

comment:
        A superfluous element of a source program included so the
        programmer can remember what the hell it was he was doing
        six months later.  Only the weak-minded need them, according
        to those who think they aren't.

Commitment, n.:
        [The difference between involvement and] Commitment can be
        illustrated by a breakfast of ham and eggs.  The chicken was
        involved, the pig was committed.

Committee Rules:
        (1) Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
        (2) Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this
            stamps you as being wise.
        (3) Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the
            others.
        (4) When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
        (5) Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you
            popular -- it's what everyone is waiting for.