Linux Definitions

Finagle's Second Law:
        No matter what the anticipated result, there will always be
        someone eager to (a) misinterpret it, (b) fake it, or (c) believe it
        happened according to his own pet theory.

Finagle's Seventh Law:
        The perversity of the universe tends toward a maximum.

Finagle's Third Law:
        In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct,
        beyond all need of checking, is the mistake

Corollaries:
        (1) Nobody whom you ask for help will see it.
        (2) The first person who stops by, whose advice you really
            don't want to hear, will see it immediately.

Fine's Corollary:
        Functionality breeds Contempt.

Finster's Law:
        A closed mouth gathers no feet.

First Law of Bicycling:
        No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind.

First law of debate:
        Never argue with a fool.  People might not know the difference.

First Law of Procrastination:
        Procrastination shortens the job and places the responsibility
        for its termination on someone else (i.e., the authority who
        imposed the deadline).

Fifth Law of Procrastination:
        Procrastination avoids boredom; one never has the feeling that
        there is nothing important to do.

First Law of Socio-Genetics:
        Celibacy is not hereditary.

First Rule of History:
        History doesn't repeat itself -- historians merely repeat each other.