Linux Definitions

Grinnell's Law of Labor Laxity:
        At all times, for any task, you have not got enough done today.

Guillotine, n.:
        A French chopping center.

Gumperson's Law:
        The probability of a given event occurring is inversely
        proportional to its desirability.

Gunter's Airborne Discoveries:
        (1)  When you are served a meal aboard an aircraft,
             the aircraft will encounter turbulence.
        (2)  The strength of the turbulence
             is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.

gurmlish, n.:
        The red warning flag at the top of a club sandwich which
        prevents the person from biting into it and puncturing the roof
        of his mouth.
                -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

guru, n.:
        A person in T-shirt and sandals who took an elevator ride with
        a senior vice-president and is ultimately responsible for the
        phone call you are about to receive from your boss.

guru, n:
        A computer owner who can read the manual.

gyroscope, n.:
        A wheel or disk mounted to spin rapidly about an axis and also
        free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpindicular to
        each other and the axis of spin so that a rotation of one of the
        two mutually perpendicular axes results from application of
        torque to the other when the wheel is spinning and so that the
        entire apparatus offers considerable opposition depending on
        the angular momentum to any torque that would change the direction
        of the axis of spin.
                -- Webster's Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary

H. L. Mencken's Law:
        Those who can -- do.
        Those who can't -- teach.

Martin's Extension:
        Those who cannot teach -- administrate.

Hacker's Law:
        The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir
        a nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.