Linux Definitions

It is fruitless:
        to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lactate fluid.

        to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with
        innovative maneuvers.

"It's in process":
        So wrapped up in red tape that the situation is almost hopeless.

italic, adj:
        Slanted to the right to emphasize key phrases.  Unique to
        Western alphabets; in Eastern languages, the same phrases
        are often slanted to the left.

Jacquin's Postulate on Democratic Government:
        No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the
        legislature is in session.

Jenkinson's Law:
        It won't work.

Jim Nasium's Law:
        In a large locker room with hundreds of lockers, the few people
        using the facility at any one time will all have lockers next to
        each other so that everybody is cramped.

job interview, n.:
        The excruciating process during which personnel officers
        separate the wheat from the chaff -- then hire the chaff.

job Placement, n.:
        Telling your boss what he can do with your job.

jogger, n.:
        An odd sort of person with a thing for pain.

Johnny Carson's Definition:
        The smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs
        in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the
        taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.