Linux Definitions

optimist, n:
        A bagpiper with a beeper.

Oregano, n.:
        The ancient Italian art of pizza folding.

Osborn's Law:
        Variables won't; constants aren't.

Ozman's Laws:
        (1)  If someone says he will do something "without fail," he won't.
        (2)  The more people talk on the phone, the less money they make.
        (3)  People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
        (4)  Pizza always burns the roof of your mouth.

pain, n.:
        One thing, at least it proves that you're alive!

Painting, n.:
        The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and
        exposing them to the critic.
                -- Ambrose Bierce

Pandora's Rule:
        Never open a box you didn't close.

Paprika Measure:
        2 dashes    ==  1smidgen
        2 smidgens  ==  1 pinch
        3 pinches   ==  1 soupcon
        2 soupcons  ==  2 much paprika

paranoia, n.:
        A healthy understanding of the way the universe works.

Pardo's First Postulate:
        Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

Arnold's Addendum:
        Everything else causes cancer in rats.