Linux Definitions

The 357.73 Theory:
        Auditors always reject expense accounts
        with a bottom line divisible by 5.

The Abrams' Principle:
        The shortest distance between two points is off the wall.

The Ancient Doctrine of Mind Over Matter:
        I don't mind... and you don't matter.
                -- As revealed to reporter G. Rivera by Swami Havabanana

The Beatles:
        Paul McCartney's old back-up band.

The Briggs-Chase Law of Program Development:
        To determine how long it will take to write and debug a
        program, take your best estimate, multiply that by two, add
        one, and convert to the next higher units.

The Consultant's Curse:
        When the customer has beaten upon you long enough, give him
        what he asks for, instead of what he needs.  This is very strong
        medicine, and is normally only required once.

The distinction between Jewish and goyish can be quite subtle, as the
following quote from Lenny Bruce illustrates:

        "I'm Jewish.  Count Basie's Jewish.  Ray Charles is Jewish.
Eddie Cantor's goyish.  The B'nai Brith is goyish.  The Hadassah is
Jewish.  Marine Corps -- heavy goyish, dangerous.

        "Kool-Aid is goyish.  All Drake's Cakes are goyish.
Pumpernickel is Jewish and, as you know, white bread is very goyish.
Instant potatoes -- goyish.  Black cherry soda's very Jewish.
Macaroons are very Jewish.  Fruit salad is Jewish.  Lime Jell-O is
goyish.  Lime soda is very goyish.  Trailer parks are so goyish that
Jews won't go near them ..."
                -- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"

The Fifth Rule:
        You have taken yourself too seriously.

The First Rule of Program Optimization:
        Don't do it.

The Second Rule of Program Optimization (for experts only!):
        Don't do it yet.
                -- Michael Jackson

The five rules of Socialism:
        (1) Don't think.
        (2) If you do think, don't speak.
        (3) If you think and speak, don't write.
        (4) If you think, speak and write, don't sign.
        (5) If you think, speak, write and sign, don't be surprised.
                -- being told in Poland, 1987