Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday October 31, 2013

A charmer from old Amarillo, Sick of finding strange heads...
A charmer from old Amarillo, Sick of finding strange heads on her pillow, Decided one day That to keep men away She would stuff up her crevice with Brillo.

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a young man of Coblenz Whose ballocks were simply...
There was a young man of Coblenz Whose ballocks were simply immense: It took forty-four draymen, A priest and three laymen To carry them thither and thence.

Swipple's Rule of Order: He who shouts the loudest...
Swipple's Rule of Order: He who shouts the loudest has the floor.

The common cormorant, or shag, Lays eggs inside a paper...
The common cormorant, or shag, Lays eggs inside a paper bag; The reason, you will see, no doubt, Is to keep the lightning out. But what these unobservant birds Have failed to notice is that herds Of bears may come with buns And steal the bags to hold...

I object to intellect without discipline; I object to power...
I object to intellect without discipline; I object to power without constructive purpose. -- Spock, "The Squire of Gothos", stardate 2124.5