Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday November 6, 2018

Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning...
Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. -- Douglas Adams, "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe"

Dear Miss Manners: Please list some tactful ways...
Dear Miss Manners: Please list some tactful ways of removing a man's saliva from your face. Gentle Reader: Please list some decent ways of acquiring a man's saliva on your face ...

A rope lying over the top of a fence is the same length on each...
A rope lying over the top of a fence is the same length on each side. It weighs one third of a pound per foot. On one end hangs a monkey holding a banana, and on the other end a weight equal to the weight of the monkey. The banana weighs two ounces...

Know how to save 5 drowning lawyers? -- No? GOOD!
Know how to save 5 drowning lawyers? -- No? GOOD!

Harp not on that string. -- William...
Harp not on that string. -- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"