Daily Fortunes

Apr 8, 2013

Swerve me? The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron...
Swerve me? The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Over unsounded gorges, through the rifled hearts of mountains, under torrents' beds, unerringly I rush! -- Captain Ahab, "Moby Dick"

Swipple's Rule of Order: He who shouts the loudest...
Swipple's Rule of Order: He who shouts the loudest has the floor.

Symptom: Drinking fails to give taste...
Symptom: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, beer is unusually pale and clear. Problem: Glass empty. Action Required: Find someone who will buy you another beer. Symptom: Drinking fails...

Symptom: Everything has gone dark. Fault: ...
Symptom: Everything has gone dark. Fault: The Bar is closing. Action Required: Panic. Symptom: You awaken to find your bed hard, cold and wet. You cannot see the bathroom light. Fault: ...

Symptom: Feet cold and wet, glass empty. Fault: ...
Symptom: Feet cold and wet, glass empty. Fault: Glass being held at incorrect angle. Action Required: Turn glass other way up so that open end points toward ceiling. Symptom: Feet warm...

Daily Fortunes for Apr 8, 2013

Jan

Feb

Mar

Apr

May

Jun

Jul

Aug

Sep

Oct

Nov