Daily FortunesMay 22, 2013
Hey, Jim, it's me, Susie Lillis from the laundromat. You said...
Hey, Jim, it's me, Susie Lillis from the laundromat. You said you were
gonna call and it's been two weeks. What's wrong, you lose my number?
High heels are a device invented by a woman who was tired...
High heels are a device invented by a woman who was tired of being kissed
on the forehead.
Him: "Your skin is so soft. Are you...
Him: "Your skin is so soft. Are you a model?"
Her: "No," [blush] "I'm a cosmetologist."
Him: "Really? That's incredible... It must be very tough to handle
weightlessness."
-- "The Jerk"
His designs were strictly honourable, as the phrase is: that...
His designs were strictly honourable, as the phrase is: that is, to rob
a lady of her fortune by way of marriage.
-- Henry Fielding, "Tom Jones"
"Home, Sweet Home" must surely have been written by...
"Home, Sweet Home" must surely have been written by a bachelor.
-- Samuel Butler
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Daily Fortunes for May 22, 2013
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