Daily Fortunes

Sep 14, 2017

I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I...
I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class. -- Art Buchwald

"I love Saturday morning cartoons, what classic humour! ...
"I love Saturday morning cartoons, what classic humour! This is what entertainment is all about ... Idiots, explosives and falling anvils." -- Calvin and Hobbes, Bill Watterson

I met my latest girl friend in a department store. She...
I met my latest girl friend in a department store. She was looking at clothes, and I was putting Slinkys on the escalators. -- Steven Wright

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make...
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. -- Groucho Marx

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone...
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. -- Steven Wright

Daily Fortunes for Sep 14, 2017

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