Daily Fortunes

Jul 16, 2018

John Birch Society: That pathetic manifestation...
John Birch Society: That pathetic manifestation of organized apoplexy. -- Edward P. Morgan

JOHN PAUL ELECTED POPE!! (George and Ringo miffed.)
JOHN PAUL ELECTED POPE!! (George and Ringo miffed.)

John the Baptist after poisoning a thief, Looks up at his hero,...
John the Baptist after poisoning a thief, Looks up at his hero, the Commander-in-Chief, Saying tell me great leader, but please make it brief Is there a hole for me to get sick in? The Commander-in-Chief answers him while chasing a fly, Saying death to all those who would...

Johnny Carson's Definition: The smallest interval...
Johnny Carson's Definition: The smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.

Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance...
Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

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