Freebsd Fortunes 4

John Birch Society:
        That pathetic manifestation of organized apoplexy.
                -- Edward P. Morgan

JOHN PAUL ELECTED POPE!!

(George and Ringo miffed.)

John the Baptist after poisoning a thief,
Looks up at his hero, the Commander-in-Chief,
Saying tell me great leader, but please make it brief
Is there a hole for me to get sick in?
The Commander-in-Chief answers him while chasing a fly,
Saying death to all those who would whimper and cry.
And dropping a barbell he points to the sky,
Saying the sun is not yellow, it's chicken.
                -- Bob Dylan, "Tombstone Blues"

Johnny Carson's Definition:
        The smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs
        in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the
        taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.

Johnson's First Law:
        When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the
        most inconvenient possible time.

Johnson's law:
        Systems resemble the organizations that create them.

Join in the new game that's sweeping the country.  It's called "Bureaucracy".
Everybody stands in a circle.  The first person to do anything loses.

Join the army, see the world, meet interesting,
exciting people, and kill them.

Join the Navy; sail to far-off exotic lands,
meet exciting interesting people, and kill them.

Jones' First Law:
        Anyone who makes a significant contribution to any field of
        endeavor, and stays in that field long enough, becomes an
        obstruction to its progress -- in direct proportion to the
        importance of their original contribution.