Daily Fortunes

Jul 28, 2019

I truly wish I could be a great surgeon or philosopher...
I truly wish I could be a great surgeon or philosopher or author or anything constructive, but in all honesty I'd rather turn up my amplifier full blast and drown myself in the noise. -- Charles Schmid, the "Tucson Murderer"

I trust the first lion he meets will do his duty...
I trust the first lion he meets will do his duty. -- J.P. Morgan on Teddy Roosevelt's safari

I try not to break the rules but merely to test their...
I try not to break the rules but merely to test their elasticity. -- Bill Veeck

I try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall...
I try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out. -- Judge Harold T. Stone

I turned my air conditioner the other way around, and it...
I turned my air conditioner the other way around, and it got cold out. The weatherman said "I don't understand it. I was supposed to be 80 degrees today," and I said "Oops." In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never...

Daily Fortunes for Jul 28, 2019

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