Freebsd Limericks

A starship commander named Kirk
Emerged from his cabin berserk.
        He grabbed a girl yeoman
        Beneath the abdomen,
And gave her a physical jerk.

A stout Gaelic warrior, McPherson,
Was having a captive, a person
        Who was not averse
        Though she had the curse,
And he'd breeches of bristling furs on.

A structured programmer named Drew
Was intensely turned on by "goto".
        When he saw it in code
        He'd shoot off his load.
It's a good thing his shop used so few.

A studious professor named Nestor
Bet a whore all his books that he could best her.
        But she drained out his balls
        And skipped up the walls,
Beseeching poor Nestor to rest her.

A sweetheart named Teresa Arden
Went down on her beau in the garden.
        He said, "Good lord, Tess,
        Don't swallow that mess "
And she replied, "Ulp, beg your pardon?"

A sweetheart named Teresa Arden
Went down on her beau in the garden.
        He said, "Good lord, Tess,
        Don't swallow that mess!"
And she replied, "Ulp, beg your pardon?"

A systems programmer named Sprotic
Found his software intensely erotic.
        In jealous distress
        He wiped his OS.
It's possible that he's psychotic.

A talented fuckstress, Miss Chisholm,
Was renowned for her fine paroxysm.
        While the man detumesced
        She still spent on with zest,
Her rapture sheer anachronism.

A talented girl from Detroit
Could fuck you in ways quite adroit.
        She could squeeze her vagina
        To a pin-point or finer
Or open it out like a quoit.

A team playing baseball in Dallas
Called te umpire blind out of malice.
        While this worthy had fits
        The team made eight hits
And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.