Freebsd Limericks

A charmer from old Amarillo,
Sick of finding strange heads on her pillow,
        Decided one day
        That to keep men away
She would stuff up her crevice with Brillo.

A chippy who worked in Black Bluff
Had a pussy as large as a muff.
        It had room for both hands
        And some intimate glands,
And was soft as a little duck's fluff.

A clerical student named Pryne
Through pain sought to reach the divine:
        He wore a hair shirt,
        Quite often ate dirt,
And bathed every Friday in brine.
                -- Edward Gorey

A clever young man named Eugene
Invented a jack-off machine.
        On the twenty-third stroke
        The fuckin' thing broke
And beat both his balls to a creame.

A clever young man named Eugene
Invented a jack-off machine.
        On the twenty-third stroke
        The goddam thing broke
And beat both his balls to a creame.

A cocksucking steno named Beeman
Remarked as she swallowed my semen :
        "On my minuscule salary
         I must watch every calorie,
So I get `ahead' eating you he-men!"

A computer called Illiac4
Had a rather tough bug in its core.
        It chewed up its cards
        And spewed yards and yards
Of illegible tape on the floor.

A computer, to print out a fact,
Will divide, multiply, and subtract.
        But this output can be
        No more than debris,
If the input was short of exact.
                -- Gigo

A contortionist hailing from Lynch
Used to rent out his tool by the inch.
        A foot cost a quid --
        He could and he did
Stretch it to three in a pinch.

A corpulent maiden named Kroll
Had a notion exceedingly droll:
        At a masquerade ball,
        Dressed in nothing at all,
She backed in as a Parker House roll.