Freebsd Limericks

A young lady sat by the sea,
Just as proper as proper could be.
        A young fellow goosed her,
        And roughly seduced her,
So she thanked him and went home to tea.

A young lady who lived by the Usk
Subsisted each day on a rusk;
        She ate the first bite
        Before it was light,
And the last crumb sometime after dusk.
                -- Edward Gorey

A young lass got married at Chester;
Her mother she kissed and she blessed her.
        Said she, "You're in luck --
        'E's a stunning good fuck,
For I've 'ad 'im meself down in Leicester."

A young maiden from France was no prude,
She decided to dive in the nude,
        But her buddy, behind,
        Went out of his mind,
When he noticed where she was tatooed.

A young man by a girl was desired
To give her the thrills she required,
        But he died of old age
        Ere his cock could assuage
The volcanic desire it inspired.

A young man from the banks of the Po
Found his cock had elongated so,
        That when he'd pee
        It was never he
But only his neighbors who'd know.

A young man grew increasingly peaky
In a house where the hinges were squeaky,
        The ferns curled up brown,
        The ceilings flaked down,
And all of the faucets were leaky.
                -- Edward Gorey

A young man maintained that his trigger
Was so big that there weren't any bigger.
        But this long and thick pud
        Was so heavy it could
Scarcely lift up its head.  It lacked vigor.

A young man of acumen and daring,
Who'd amassed a great fortune in herring,
        Was left quite alone
        When it soon became known
That their use at his board was unsparing.
                -- Edward Gorey

A young man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyll
While bent over plucking a dingle
        Had the whole of Eisteddfod
        Taking turns at his pod
While they sang some impossible jingle.