Freebsd Limericks

There was a young lady named Clair
Who possessed a magnificent pair;
        At least so I thought
        Till I saw one get caught
On a thorn, and begin losing air.

There was a young lady named Dot
Whose cunt was so terribly hot
        That ten bishops of Rome
        And the Pope's private gnome
Failed to quench her Vesuvial twat.

There was a young lady named Duff
With a lovely, luxuriant muff.
        In his haste to get in her
        One eager beginner
Lost both of his balls in the rough.

There was a young lady named Etta
Who was constantly seen in a swetta.
        Three reasons she had:
        To keep warm wasn't bad,
But the other two reasons were betta.

There was a young lady named Fleager
Who was terribly, terribly eager
        To be all the rage
        On the tragedy stage,
Though her talents were pitifully meagre.
                -- Edward Gorey

There was a young lady named Flo
Whose lover had pulled out too slow.
        So they tried it all night,
        Till he got it just right...
Well, practice makes pregnant, you know.

There was a young lady named Flynn
Who thought fornication a sin,
        But when she was tight
        It seemed quite all right,
So everyone filled her with gin.

There was a young lady named Gilda
Who went on a date with a builder.
        He said that he would,
        And he could and he should,
And he did and it damn well near killed her.

There was a young lady named Gloria
Who was had by Sir Gerald Du Maurier,
        And then by six men,
        Sir Gerald again,
And the band at the Waldorf-Astoria.

There was a young lady named Gloria,
Whose boyfriend said, "May I explore ya?"
        She replied to the chap,
        "I'll draw you a map,
Of where others have been to before ya."