Freebsd Limericks

There was an old lady of Kewry
Whose cunt was a `lusus naturae':
        The `introitus vaginae',
        Was unnaturally tiny,
And the thought of it filled her with fury.

There was an old lady who lay
With her legs wide apart in the hay,
        Then, calling the ploughman,
        She said, "Do it now, man!
Don't wait till your hair has turned gray."

There was an old maid from Cape Cod
Who thought all good things came from god.
        But it wasn't the almighty
        Who lifted her nighty,
It was Roger, the lodger, by god.

There was an old man from Bengal
Who liked to do tricks in the hall.
        His favorite trick
        Was to stand on his dick
While he rolled around on one ball.

There was an old man from Duluth
Whose cock was shot off in his youth.
        He fucked with his nose
        Or his fingers and toes
And he came thru a hole in his tooth.

There was an old man from Fort Drum
Whose son was incredibly dumb.
        When he urged him ahead,
        He went down instead,
For he thought to succeed meant succumb.

There was an old man of Alsace
Who played the trombone with his ass.
        He put in a trap
        To take out the crap,
But the vapors corroded the brass.

There was an old man of Brienz
The length of whose cock was immense:
        With one swerve he could plug
        A boy's bottom in Zug,
And a kitchen-maid's cunt in Coblenz.

There was an old man of Cajon
Who never could get a good bone.
        With the aid of a gland
        It grew simply grand;
Now his wife cannot leave it alone.

There was an old man of Calcutta
Who spied through a chink in the shutter.
        But all he could see
        Was his wife's bare knee,
And the back of the bloke who was up her.