Freebsd Limericks

A studious professor named Nestor
Bet a whore all his books that he could best her.
        But she drained out his balls
        And skipped up the walls,
Beseeching poor Nestor to rest her.

A sweetheart named Teresa Arden
Went down on her beau in the garden.
        He said, "Good lord, Tess,
        Don't swallow that mess "
And she replied, "Ulp, beg your pardon?"

A sweetheart named Teresa Arden
Went down on her beau in the garden.
        He said, "Good lord, Tess,
        Don't swallow that mess!"
And she replied, "Ulp, beg your pardon?"

A systems programmer named Sprotic
Found his software intensely erotic.
        In jealous distress
        He wiped his OS.
It's possible that he's psychotic.

A talented fuckstress, Miss Chisholm,
Was renowned for her fine paroxysm.
        While the man detumesced
        She still spent on with zest,
Her rapture sheer anachronism.

A talented girl from Detroit
Could fuck you in ways quite adroit.
        She could squeeze her vagina
        To a pin-point or finer
Or open it out like a quoit.

A team playing baseball in Dallas
Called te umpire blind out of malice.
        While this worthy had fits
        The team made eight hits
And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.

A team playing baseball in Dallas
Called the umpire blind out of malice.
        While this worthy had fits
        The team made eight hits
And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.

A teenage protester named Lil
Cried, "Those watergate spies make me ill
        First they bugged our martinis,
        Our bras and bikinis,
And now they are bugging the pill."

A thrice-married gal from L.A.
Said, "My hymen's intact to this day,
        'Cause my first (a shrink) talked of it,
        The voyeur only gawked at it,
And my most recent man's a gourmet."