Freebsd Limericks

A talented girl from Detroit
Could fuck you in ways quite adroit.
        She could squeeze her vagina
        To a pin-point or finer
Or open it out like a quoit.

A team playing baseball in Dallas
Called te umpire blind out of malice.
        While this worthy had fits
        The team made eight hits
And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.

A team playing baseball in Dallas
Called the umpire blind out of malice.
        While this worthy had fits
        The team made eight hits
And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.

A teenage protester named Lil
Cried, "Those watergate spies make me ill
        First they bugged our martinis,
        Our bras and bikinis,
And now they are bugging the pill."

A thrice-married gal from L.A.
Said, "My hymen's intact to this day,
        'Cause my first (a shrink) talked of it,
        The voyeur only gawked at it,
And my most recent man's a gourmet."

A tidy young lady of Streator
Dearly loved to nibble a peter.
        She always would say,
        "I prefer it this way.
I think it is very much neater."

A timid young woman named Jane
Found parties a terrible strain;
        With movements uncertain
        She'd hide in a curtain
And make sounds like a rabbit in pain.
                -- Edward Gorey

A tired young trollop of Nome
Was worn out from her toes to her dome.
        Eight miners came screwing,
        But she said, "Nothing doing;
One of you has to go home!"

A trapper named Francois Lefebrve
Once captured and buggered a beabrve.
        The result of this fuck
        Was a three titted duck,
A canoe, and an Irish retriebrve.

A tutor who tooted a flute
Tried to tutor two tutors to toot
        Said the two to the tutor:
        "Is it harder to toot or
To tutor two tutors to toot"