Freebsd Limericks

A vengeful technician named Schmitz
Caused a disk drive to go on the fritz.
        He covered the platter
        With bats' fecal matter.
Now it's seek time is really the pits.

A very intelligent turtle
Found programming UNIX a hurdle
        The system, you see,
        Ran as slow as did he,
And that's not saying much for the turtle.

A very odd pair are the Pitts:
His balls are as large as her tits,
        Her tits are as large
        As an invasion barge--
Neither knows how the other cohabits.

A wanton young lady from Wimley
Reproached for not acting quite primly
        Said, "Heavens above!
        I know sex isn't love,
But it's such an entrancing facsimile."

A water pipe suited miss Hunt;
She used it for many a bunt.
        But the unlucky wench
        Got it caught in her trench ---
It took twenty-two men and a big Stillson wrench,
To get the thing out of her cunt.

A water pipe suited miss Hunt;
She used it for many a bunt.
        But the unlucky wench
        Got it caught in her trench ---
It took twenty-two men and a big Stillson wrench,
To get the thing out of her cunt.

A weary old lecher named Blott
Took a luscious young blond to his yacht.
        Too lazy to rape her,
        He made darts out of paper,
Which he leisurely tossed at her twat.

A whimsical fellow named Bloch
Could beat the base drum with his cock.
        With a special erection
        He could play a selection
From Johann Sebastian Bach.

A wicked stone cutter named Cary
Drilled holes in divine statuary.
        With eyes full of malice
        He pulled out his phallus,
And buggered a stone Virgin Mary.

A wide-bottomed girl named Trasket
Had a hole as big as a basket.
        A spot, as a bride,
        In it now, you could hide,
And include with your luggage your mascot.